Back to the Basic and Gettting things back on track!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It is a GREAT feeling to be back at FitWit and with my friends that share a common goal! I was excited about the first night of camp and really enjoyed the workout. It was thoughtful of Josh to ease us back into camp. I am sore now and still feeling it when I get up and sit down, but it was not like before. I haven't had a date with Espom so far! LOL! I have recommitted myself to the program, so I need HELP in keeping me on track. PUSH ME!! I need the words of encouragement as I continue along this journey. I know that I could have been at goal if I would have stuck with the program. I left LIFE set me back and that is the wrong direction to be going. I understand that things happen. I am proud of myself and have only gained a 1 pound since my last Nov weigh in. I was surprised and thought that I had put on some pounds.



The NEW YEAR has brought me SO MANY CHANGES and NEW THINGS! I just changed jobs and today(1/5) is my 1st day. As I transition, I am hoping that the next week or so will be smooth, but I understand that things happen. My attendance should not be effected. I have recommitted myself to church on Tuesday and will miss camp for that reason. I am starting a fast with several friends, so there will be lots of new changes that I pray for. I think that it will help in many aspects of my life. I will post the details SOON!



Time was not NOT on my side on Thursday and it caused me STRESS!!! I planned to pick up Diamond from school and still work out! Marta was LATE, I picked her up about 5:30 and live about 20-25 mins from the school with traffic. I got home got dressed and it was 6pm and I had a meeting at 8pm. I just worked out at home, but I know that it was not the same workout that I would have gotten at FitWit! I realized that I have to bring my clothes with me and planning is the key! I feel that I have gotten off to a rough start and we are only one week into the new year.

I will be there are camp tonight READY to work!!! I am prepared......

Jo

Happy New Year

So Monday, January 3rd 2011 was my first day at Fitwit's 6:45 am group and it was an interesting experience. For those who may have read my essay entry into the contest which won me my spot (thank you all by the way), my first session was modified to accommodate my personal weight and health issues for which I am grateful. But if I, or anyone else, thought that they were going easy on me were proven WRONG. I got home feeling like I was hit by a bus and dragged under it for a few miles. And yesterday was my second day... and even then they stepped it down a notch as I was dealing with kidney pain (I passed a few kidney stones that morning...) but was also still recuperating from Monday's work out, and moving slow as everything hurt. But pain is something I deal with everyday, but this was nearly debilitating, as all I could do was come home and sleep for 5 hours. And today, I feel like I was hit by a second bus, thrown under a train, and used by a punching bag by a group of angry boxers. I am walking and moving very slowly and begrudgingly, but I am working through it.

Breathing helps, even though that hurts as well. Slow deep breaths help calm the body as well as allows more regenerative oxygen to flow through the blood stream and help heal the soreness. I am going to be honest here and say that I will not be doing much walking today as my kidney still hurts and my knees feel like someone stuck broken glass under each knee cap, but I will be stretching and working with some 7 pound weights that I have. Hopefully I will get through this enough to accomplish more on Thursday and Friday. I will be there, but maybe none to happy about it... at least that is how I feel now. But there are some things you just have to work through, and I've already been through a lot in my life, and I know that nothing comes easy and without effort. At least it never has for me.

I turn 44 next monday and that means I have been carrying around about 200 extra pounds (i am currently at 492... yeah I know.) on and off for the last 20 - 23 years now and that takes its toll. Not only just on the body, but the spirit and the will as well. So many times I've come close to losing the weight only to plateau 100 pounds from my goal (i'd love to see 250 again) and that can be downright depressing and disheartening. And it feels as if I may never shed this weight without surgical help, but so far, I've never been able to afford it. Its a struggle for sure, but one worth it. I just hope to see results, and right now it is hard to see "pain" as a result. Sure people can say all they want about "no pain no gain" and that they work through the pain. Pain is different for different people, and so far, the trainers at FitWit seem to appreciate that and show a compassion and willingness to work with you in managing it, but still encouraging you to find a way to work through it, and I appreciate that. Yesterday I was unable to go to my artist community meeting and was disappointed about that. I didn't blame myself, mind you, but just realized that I couldn't walk or move without every inch of my body screaming in pain. I would not have been able to enjoy the meeting in that condition, so I opted to stay home and rest.

But I tried not to sit or lay in one place for too long. I made a choice to get up and move around as much as I could. I read some (Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis), killed some zombies (Left for Dead 2), watched the Rebel Alliance kick some evil Galactic Empire butt (Return of the Jedi), played with my cats (Talon and Claire) making them chase me as I drug a toy around the room, and did some job hunting (Career Builder, CL, Job Fox, etc). I desperately need a job or some form of income as I think my unemployment benefits end in 2 weeks (unless I am one of the few to be granted extensions), and that stress is also heaped on the pain from the work out, the pain from the kidney, and the other stuff I deal with on a daily basis. If it sounds like I'm whining, so be it. Whine whine whine. Its all part of the process, right?

Tonight I hope to have the strength to make it out the door to my worship and prayer night at church as I could use that right now. I didn't sleep well last night. Had lots of disturbing dreams and kept waking up feeling like crap. So I may nap today for a short while, take a hot shower and ease myself out the door. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, I think I've said enough. I'll post more towards the end of the week, but felt this would be an opportunity to be open and honest about my experience, which is something I will unapologetically do as I am far beyond worrying about my image or what others think of me. I think it best to be honest to myself and for myself. And that is why I am doing this fitness program for myself. So as much as I appreciate any and all outside encouragement and critique (again thanks to all who have been supportive so far) I will push myself the hardest. I need this. I want this.

Come on JO!!!! Don't STOP!!!! (Words from Josh)

I just realized that I have been doing FitWit for almost a year. A year that has changed my life and helped me in more ways than one. Camp is still a challenge and each session bring me a new battle to conquer! Even though, I work HARD....I really get joy in knowing that I was able to make it through another session. The hardest part in getting there and once I am there then 1/2 of the battle is over. Diamond has been sick and I was home with her and I could NOT get MOTIVATED to get moving. I had a plan each day and that day came and went! I went back to camp on Tuesday and the workout was at Grant Park. We ran around the park in the dark and stopped and did various workouts with the bands. Josh really pushed me and would NOT take NO for an answer and he has to give me that little bit extra that I needed. I was just thinking MIND/MATTER!!!!!!! I left the workout and felt empowered! Josh is going to review my diet with me so that I can get these 50-75lbs that I want off! I am stuck and can't get below this range....UGH!! I must be there in by the summer!! So I have 7 months to get it together!!! I have a deadline.............I have started my food logs again and joined Weight Watchers, so we will see what happens. I just have to make sure that I make healthy choices, because one bad choice leads to another.

I think that blogging help, so you will see more post! I PROMISE!!!

Jo

I needed support and........

I feel off again and it took me a few weeks to get back up. I stop coming to FitWit while I was dealing with my knee and foot issues(still having problem) and that was a BIG mistake! I realized that I needed to come and they would find modification for me and that still needed to get my workouts in. Easier said than done, but after a million threatening emails from Josh and Amy(just kidding). I got my butt back up and recommitted to finishing my journey. Josh sent me my winning FitWit essay and all I could do is cry!!! The people on the Marta bus thought that I was crazy or something. It it hit home and all of those emotions came back and I knew that I was the one to make the change. I came back to camp the next day(10/16) and it was ROUGH!!! We had a partner workout and Talley was a GREAT!!! I pushed hard and wanted to carry my load of the workout. I thought that I was going to die a few times, but I am still here! I left and felt EMPOWERED!!! Later that night, I wasn't able to move and still sore! I left like it was my very first week of camp.

I had my highest weight gain since I join FitWit his past week. I cried the entire way to pick up Diamond. I was mad and angry at myself for gaining and knowing that it takes a LONG time to get it back off. I am pushing hard and have developed a plan for this week and those unwanted pounds will be back off my 10/31! I had to give Ian a pep talk and told him that I need more support at home. My Sorority sister, Jennifer, joined WW with me and she lost over 6 pounds last week. She has been there to support me and gave me many kind words as we sat in WW on Sunday. We are going to push each other to make our goals and keep each other on track.

The excuses are OVER and I'm ready to WORK hard again! Sorry for letting my family down...

Jo

Its hard not to Judge!!!

Well, I joined Weight Watchers back and I realize that I was doing well on the program and I needed to start back. I attended my first meeting on Sunday and felt empowered to finish this journey. This lady sat beside me and looked perfect size and introduced herself. I was thinking to myself....WHY IS SHE HERE? She is fine and doesn't need to lose any weight. I did not realize that I was judging her until, I was sitting home on Wednesday with Ian's cousin and we were talking about weight loss. I record the Biggest Loser and generally watch it a day later. He mention that he HATES the SHOW and that these people need to get over it!!! I was offended! Keep in mind that he is 6'3 and weighs about 180 and can get anything that doesn't eat him first and not gain a pound. He has NEVER dealt with a weight issue. I realized that it HARD to feel the pain of someone if you have never thought about the issue that they are facing. I have a box of tissues, because I cry during every show, because I have been in many of the situations that the contestants face and they feel like they are at the end of the road. I realize that staying healthy doesn't come overnight and its something that you have to work at everyday. I realized that I judged someone and others might to the same about me. I realize that once I get to my goal, I am going to have to work twice as hard to keep it. We all should have goals that we strive to achieve and many of us can reach those goals w/o the help of others. I realize that this journey, I need help and that is why I am here at FitWit to help me!

I have been dealing with my knee and foot issue, but after my dr appt, I am going to remain positive and keep striving. There are going to be nights that I am going to push through the PAIN b/c I WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!! I am closer to my goal than 6 months ago, a month ago.....even a day ago. I have an image that I want and careless about what the scale says. I am LEARNING TO LOVE ME!!!! more and more each day! I have grown a lot but still there is more to do. I am EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!

I will be back at CAMP on MONDAY and I have to make it these last 2 weeks. I have been walking at home on the nights that I have missed camp, but dealing with my knee and foot has been a minor set back.

Jo has not given up and WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!

JCE

FITWIT really CARES

FitWit is GREAT!!! I have been dealing with issues with my knee and scheduled to see the orthopedic next week. The trainers modified the workouts so that I can still workout and not put stress on my knee. Last night was the 1 mile and then we moved from 4 or 5 stations that were sat up(like the wheel). Even though, I was not able to run, Lindsay still gave me a work with the kettle bells and I was still huffing and puffing as if I was running. It also gave me a chance to cheer on the runners and they were making it to the finish line. It really makes a difference when someone is standing there and clapping as you are pushing to cross the finish line. Jack was awesome!!!! He was first to finish and set a PR!! Way to go JACK!! Jack has encouraged me since day 1 !!!! Jack really brings a POSITIVE attitude to camp and lots of HARD WORK!!!

My knee is feeling a lot better than last week and I pray that it stays this way. I think that ice and biofreeze is helping. YEA!!!!

See ya tonight!!!!

Jo

The OLD Jo is Back at camp#5

I always find the first night back to camp a challenge. Last night was a bit different. It was a DOUBLE challenge. I will admit that I have been slacking and fell of the course. I could NOT even make my warm up lap. I should have known that when I went for a walk/jog on Sunday and could not make it around the track once. OMG!!! What did I do? I feel that I have let all of that hard work GO, but I AM BACK TO WORK HARDER than EVER!!!

I generally don't like partners exercises, but lets talk about the positive and not the negative. It made me strive to work harder, b/c I did not want to let my partner, Anatol, down. I was pushing through the burning arms as I was holding in the tears from the push ups. It allows you to get to know a new campers and bond with them during the session of HARD work, sweat and sometimes tears!!!

I am excited to be here and taking my journey day by day!

I must remember mind/matter!!! I want this and I have to work for it....it is not going to fall out of the sky. If it did then I would have ran and caught it already.....That would be one time that I would enjoy running...LOL

My family is recharged to exercise several nights a week. Diamond is EXCITED!! She will be walking 2 night a week, Hip Hop dance on Tuesday then of course PE at school twice a week. I am going to maintain her diet at home and we are going take our lifestyle to the TOP!! My mom has lost over 100lbs and says that she was feeling better when she was walking and doing some exercises that I showed her at home. In fact, on Sunday she even jogged 100 meters.

Thanks to EVERYONE for your SUPPORT!!! Let the FUN BEGIN!!!!!!

Jo is BACK!!!!