Journeys - what to bring with...and what baggage to leave behind

In starting this journey I knew there would be some struggle as I am sorely out of "shape" (and by shape I mean an ideal level of physical health). I knew there would be effort required; a commitment that must be made; a determination to set in motion the things that needed doing to accomplish the purpose of the journey. Some of those things include preparing for the journey, (like packing a bag, making plans and arranging things) as well as leaving some things behind.

What I wanted to bring with me was an open mind and a willingness to endure what I knew would be difficult, but worth doing. What I wanted to leave behind was a negative attitude, years of disappointment at past failures, and most importantly, fear. Fear of pain, lack of progress or noticeable results. You know, the negative aspects of fear... the kind that keeps you from going forward into the unknown (or the into the known, especially if you know it hurts), the kind of fear that binds you to old behaviors, to hiding from progress, or testing your mettle, your integrity, your tenacity to finish what you begin.

But I also wanted to bring with me a little of the good fear. The fear of not having faith in myself, and of not trusting others who are willing to help me. The fear of not being able to push myself and endure what I need to in order to get through this journey. The fear of never achieving a more healthy body and lifestyle. I think it is okay to have that fear with you. The good fear. But that comes with knowing the difference between being afraid and running from the fear, and being afraid and running towards the fear to face it and work through it.

This comes from experience, which comes from following knowledge which leads to wisdom. By showing up at the Goal Setting breakfast, being at the Nutrition Talk, reading the blog and doing more research outside, I am learning more about what I can do, and the potential I have, to attain my health goals. Yet it is still up to me to put these into action, to get up every morning and head over to camp, and participate at the highest level I can. And it is hard. No question about it. But I can see it for what it is: an opportunity (for which I am eternally grateful) to reshape the shape i'm in.

This has only been my first week, and though I am working from modified (but structured) exercises, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though that light is burning through faith. For I can quench it just as easily by giving up and giving in. That is what I don't want to happen. So I want to leave the fear of agony behind and pick up that fear of giving up and carry that with me on this journey. And with the kind and continued encouragement that I have felt so far by my fellow campers and the trainers, that fear will also fade as it becomes knowledge, and that knowledge becomes experience, and that experience become wisdom which will carry me forward. And then I won't have to rely on fear to push me towards my goal. But an educated and encouraged knowing that I am on the right path, and on the right journey.

So forth I go.