My stupid @#$#%&*! ankle!

I'm trying really hard not to be disappointed in myself this week. I've been doing great moving up in the weight intervals. I'm able to endure more, and actually focus on my form. Those are good things. But this blasted ankle still will not let me jog, run, jump or walk even remotely fast. Every time I think I have enough to keep going, I get those sharp pains on the top of the ankle and I have to slow down.

It's infuriating!

During that first camp, I would've jumped at the chance to slow it down and do easier exercises. Now that I've been at it for a while, it's driving me up the wall to not go all the way! Stacy and JB are sympathetic and won't let me do a lot of the exercises that will make it flare up. I really hate having this injury! I still have the energy to keep going, but not the physical ability.

Just the other day it was the 2 mile run exercise. I was really excited to be able to do this again and compare my times. The last time I attempted this, I got around the route once for a time of around 15 minutes. I was itching to beat it this time 'round.

We all gathered at the front of the high school and off we went. I got two steps in and a sharp pain went right from the middle of my ankle straight up through my calf. DAMMIT! Nooooooo! And there went my ankle. I hobbled the entire lap around. I got to the halfway time and Jen told me my time. 8:06. There was no way to beat my old time with a huge hill coming up and limping. I was crestfallen. I gimped the whole way to the finish line. I was crying by the time I got there. Some was from pain, but mostly it was disappointment. The workout was to go twice around. I could barely get once. And my time? Well, it was a horrid 16 minutes. Gah. Not good. Stacy told me to catch my breath and get to work on some kettle bells. I wasn't even going to attempt the second lap. But, I still had the energy! I had barely broken a sweat (compared to the last time where I was soaked halfway through). I was ready to go. My ankle however, was not. Even attempting to do the kettle bell work it was yelling at me. I had to go to a lighter weight and kibosh some of the exercises that had me put all my weight on my ankle.

I'm ready to move up. I want to go go go! I don't want to be last. I'm finally getting the weight off, and I want to keep pushing. But ankle says no. Ankle is a jerk. You hear me, fix yourself or we're gonna have problems!

I know I can't bully my ankle into healing. It does make me feel better, though. I really thought I was going to kill this camp and do some amazing things. Now, it's just going to be a struggle to maintain with this injury.

Stacy's been really good about encouraging me and letting me know what subs are equal to the running/jumping exercises. But it doesn't quite make up for not being able to keep up with the rest of the camp.

So, fine. I'll sit. And be still. And keep off my ankle. I'll always wear shoes with support (okay, *most* of the time). And I'll take care of myself so I can come back full force.