Decatur: Week 3, here I come!

It's really time to get my head into the game here. It's the beginning of week 3. The midway point and I feel like I'm slugging behind everyone else. In FitWit, you're only competing against yourself. I know that, but it's hard not to feel badly when you're the last one at everything, even warm-up. It makes me feel awkward, like I'm sticking out like a sore thumb (or hamstring).

So, I joke. A lot. I'm so accustomed to using self-deprecating humor to make myself (and anyone within earshot) feel better. My old habit of laughing at yourself first, so no one can laugh at you. I got admonished a tad by a fellow camper when I apologized ahead of time for sucking to the team. No self-sabotage allowed, she told me. She's right. That's exactly what it is: self-sabotage. I'm limiting myself to what I think I can do, not what I can do. It's as simple as that. But I can't help but feel slrightly terrified every time a FitWit session starts. Can I do this? Am I going to need modification again? Am I going to be last?

I can't even explain what has me so scared. Hard work never killed anyone. No one is laughing at me. In fact, they are so supportive I almost feel like I'm taking advantage of all the encouragement. (If I had any breath left, I'd give it right back.) No one is going to call me to the head of the class and make fun of me, make me an "example" or anything else embarrassing.

There's nothing to be scared of at all. It's time I realized that and do the best I can. As long as I try, no one can say I didn't. And who knows, maybe all that trying will fall right into succeeding.